We found out we were pregnant just as the last lockdown in Melbourne was beginning to lift.
By the time I went back to work I would have been around 9 weeks I think. Very early.
Isolation the first time around was hard, about 2 weeks in I was hit with allllll the feelings.
I was grieving my life, missing social interaction, family , all the things that we take for granted.
Because I work in the fitness industry we were one of the last to go back so I think it was a good 12 weeks that we were homebound the first time round.
I have to admit I was weary about everything opening up again, towards the end we were running outdoor bootcamps and that really started to bring some normality back into life.
But it was still scary, as hard as it was being home for so long there was a reason. Our safety, our health not just for ourselves but to also protect our loved ones.
June came around and it was showtime, the gym was back open, my morning sickness by then was hell and no-one other than Aaron knew about the pregnancy.
But oh my goodness was it good to be back.
I was exhausted, sometimes falling asleep before Aaron even came to bed (at 8:30pm)
I had gone from living on my own time and even though working out and keeping active, nothing compared to the mental stimulation of being back at work. I hadn't stood on my feet for that long in months!
I loved every minute of it regardless.
No way did we think we would go back in to lockdown.
Not a chance.
There was too much riding on the economy and we all just thought they were scare tacting us into exercising social distancing still to PREVENT going backwards.
But then the numbers started climbing.
I had my shift on the wednesday morning then the cabinet meeting happened that afternoon (My poor boss was celebrating his birthday with his family) and by the time I got into work for my afternoon shift we received the news that we were to close by Thursday 11:59pm
Disbelief.
Anxiety.
Shock.
What did this mean? This was scary. They said 6 weeks but no way would it only last that long.
Why was I scared?
We are healthy, we are safe. we are lucky.
I was scared about being pregnant without my support system.
Being tired... pregnant tired
With the 2 boys both home and very little outlets for them other then what we have at home and going for walks.
Yes, there is plenty for us to do but try explain that to a too cool for school 8 year old.
and look in all fairness his younger brother has it in for him.
I love them both dearly but my goodness they are chalk and cheese comparing them at 3 years old.
Robbie is next level!
We hadn't announced our pregnancy either so I was nervous about that too.
I'm very traditional with somethings and I like to do them in person to show those around me that they are important to me.
Then on top of that we were house hunting in the midst of A PANDEMIC.
All I kept thinking is "how long will this last" "what world am I bringing another child in to?"
Being away from my Dad and best friend has been the hardest so far.
They are the people who ground me.
And maternal health appointments over the phone now that is weird!
I've tried to focus really hard on the things I can control.
I have been researching calming methods, because we all know how important is to "stress less" during pregnancy.
Getting my children involved in the pregnancy so they can see how big bub is now and the developmental milestones week by week. What to expect App
Making a new "lock down" routine for our home to keep some kind of structure.
We have announced our pregnancy so trying to enjoy it with friends virtually.
Keeping up with daily exercise whether it be a heart rate raiser or something a little more low key on my tired days like Yoga.
Trying ever so hard to motivate the kids to move their bodies - so lots of impromptu dance parties.
I have found meditating daily for 10 minutes has been very helpful so I have tried to make a conscious effort to stick to it.
And mostly when Aaron gets home from work I chew his ear off like I've never spoken to another adult in my life.
But really in all seriousness the biggest help I have found is being open about my feelings, about what worries me and having someone listen.
9/10 times my fears and worries, the way I'm feeling are the same as everyone I talk to. And while it sucks because I don't want my significant others feeling that way ever, there is some comfort in knowing it is normal.
Listen to your body.
Listen to your mind.
It is okay to take a break.
It is okay to have a lazy day.
It doesn't matter that your home allday, if the house is messy so be it!
YOU are growing a life! maybe even 2!
This is hard regardless.
Your mind is a powerful thing.
Look after your body
and remember
You are doing your best.
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